Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Free New Age Bullshit Generator

I love New Age people; I love New Age events, and I love New Age lifestyle….

However, sometimes, closely listening the “guru” messages, delivered through some of the lectures and workshops, I am starting wondering, either I am so stupid to miss the whole point, or the messages are kind of spiritual BS. Every single word seems to be easy to understand, but the whole meaning is hiding from the curious mind in the nicely built structures. Well, you can always consider that as creative mantra background for guided meditation.

However, what if you need to deliver the highly spiritual, meaningful, holistic message yourself?

What if that is required as part of the creative marketing of the particular New Age product and/or service?

What if you are unable to create crispy-not-clear, bold and sleek pretentious presentation, not being able to capture the listeners’ attention and losing your tribe’s interest from the first words?

The New Age Bullshit Generator is here to help you. Just click on the button on top of the page and you will get automatically generated speech/post/presentation, which will definitely keep your listeners/readers attention from the first moment until the end, as they will try to make some reasonable conclusions from your words, most likely, with very low success rate.

So, clicking the Reionize Electrons button at the top of the page to generate a full page of New Age poppycock.

The app developer, Seb Pearce from Melbourne, after sitting through hours of New Age rhetoric, decided to have a crack at writing code to generate it automatically and speed things up a bit. He cobbled together a list of New Age buzzwords and cliché sentence patterns and this is the result.

So, put your newly generated pseudo-intellectual post on your website as placeholder text. Print it out as a speech for your yoga class and see if anyone can guess a computer wrote it. Use it to write the hottest new bestseller in the self-help section, or give false hope to depressed friends and family members.

Here is an example of the great self-generated article:

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We exist as morphogenetic fields

Awareness is the healing of learning, and of us. Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is chi.

You may be ruled by bondage without realizing it. Do not let it eradicate the growth of your circuit.

Humankind has nothing to lose. We are at a crossroads of growth and selfishness. Who are we? Where on the great myth will we be re-energized?

We grow, we exist, we are reborn. To traverse the journey is to become one with it. The quantum soup is aglow with vibrations.

Nothing is impossible. Potentiality is the driver of sharing. Consciousness consists of sub-atomic particles of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a condensing of the zero-point.

This life is nothing short of a summoning evolution of primordial insight.
Our conversations with other adventurers have led to a refining of supra-interstellar consciousness. Reality has always been electrified with adventurers whose dreams are immersed in potentiality. Throughout history, humans have been interacting with the quantum cycle via expanding wave functions.

The spark of life-force is now happening worldwide. Eons from now, we entities will live like never before as we are aligned by the totality. Imagine an awakening of what could be.

Free New Age Bullshit Generator for you!

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