I love New Age people; I love New Age events, and I love
New Age lifestyle….
However, sometimes, closely listening the “guru” messages,
delivered through some of the lectures and workshops, I am starting wondering, either I am
so stupid to miss the whole point, or the messages are kind of spiritual BS. Every
single word seems to be easy to understand, but the whole meaning is hiding from
the curious mind in the nicely built structures. Well, you can always consider
that as creative mantra background for guided meditation.
However, what if you need to deliver the highly spiritual,
meaningful, holistic message yourself?
What if that is required as part of the creative
marketing of the particular New Age product and/or service?
What if you are unable to create crispy-not-clear, bold
and sleek pretentious presentation, not being able to capture the listeners’
attention and losing your tribe’s interest from the first words?
The New Age Bullshit Generator is here to help you. Just
click on the button on top of the page and you will get automatically generated
speech/post/presentation, which will definitely keep your listeners/readers
attention from the first moment until the end, as they will try to make some
reasonable conclusions from your words, most likely, with very low success
rate.
So, clicking the Reionize
Electrons button at the top of the page to generate a full page of New Age
poppycock.
The app developer, Seb Pearce from Melbourne, after
sitting through hours of New Age rhetoric, decided to have a crack at writing
code to generate it automatically and speed things up a bit. He cobbled
together a list of New Age buzzwords and cliché sentence patterns and this is
the result.
So, put your newly generated pseudo-intellectual post on
your website as placeholder text. Print it out as a speech for your yoga class
and see if anyone can guess a computer wrote it. Use it to write the hottest
new bestseller in the self-help section, or give false hope to depressed
friends and family members.
Here is an example of the great self-generated article:
We
exist as morphogenetic fields
Awareness is the
healing of learning, and of us. Today, science tells us that the essence of
nature is chi.
You may be ruled by
bondage without realizing it. Do not let it eradicate the growth of your
circuit.
Humankind has
nothing to lose. We are at a crossroads of growth and selfishness. Who are we?
Where on the great myth will we be re-energized?
We grow, we exist,
we are reborn. To traverse the journey is to become one with it. The quantum
soup is aglow with vibrations.
Nothing is
impossible. Potentiality is the driver of sharing. Consciousness consists of
sub-atomic particles of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a condensing of the
zero-point.
This life is
nothing short of a summoning evolution of primordial insight.
Our conversations
with other adventurers have led to a refining of supra-interstellar
consciousness. Reality has always been electrified with adventurers whose
dreams are immersed in potentiality. Throughout history, humans have been
interacting with the quantum cycle via expanding wave functions.
The spark of
life-force is now happening worldwide. Eons from now, we entities will live
like never before as we are aligned by the totality. Imagine an awakening of
what could be.
Free New Age Bullshit Generator for you!
